I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
