I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
