More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
