Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
