I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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