he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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