After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
