Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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