I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...