I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom