I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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