well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?