Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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