Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
