Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear

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  (512) 3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear http://tfl.nu/ahne
  Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (2166)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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  (207): saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow. (513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single. http://tfl.nu/mtqr
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (1108)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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  (404): girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice http://tfl.nu/q2o9
  Replies (20) Good night (715) Bad night (3752)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"

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  (518): He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!" http://tfl.nu/furw
  Replies (68) Good night (7488) Bad night (2081)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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  (859): Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day. http://tfl.nu/d01x
  Replies (16) Good night (6015) Bad night (998)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Operation Purity has been aborted

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  (306): Operation Purity has been aborted http://tfl.nu/jf4h
  Replies (24) Good night (6511) Bad night (1274)
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  (818): View more from California

  She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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  (818): She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on. http://tfl.nu/3dyc
  Replies (31) Good night (892) Bad night (9684)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?

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  (504): how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades? http://tfl.nu/s5wu
  Replies (79) Good night (15793) Bad night (2914)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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  (909): It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer. http://tfl.nu/6a0i
  Replies (5) Good night (455) Bad night (1793)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.

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  (732): I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night. http://tfl.nu/l68a
  Replies (4) Good night (1199) Bad night (390)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.

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  (202): Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there. http://tfl.nu/rixv
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (866)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.

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  (406): I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/7tpa
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.

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  (901): apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing. http://tfl.nu/cw14
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (406)
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  (722): View more from

  It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush

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  (722): It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush http://tfl.nu/4mo5
  Replies (4) Good night (340) Bad night (806)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.

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  (508): It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news. http://tfl.nu/vv9l
  Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (247)

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