I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
