do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
