you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
