i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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