my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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