My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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