if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
