We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
