I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
