whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
