aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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