try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
