So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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