Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
