I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
