oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
