Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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