My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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