It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
