So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
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I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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