Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.

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(708): View more from Illinois

She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle

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(313): View more from Michigan

Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

(734): View more from Michigan

She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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(646): View more from New York

I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.

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