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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (661): View more from California

  fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?

  (469): View more from Texas

  I still had a cough. It only makes sense

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall

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