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hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
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