i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Blow job season was short but glorious.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you