I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize