Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho