I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.