It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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