Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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