Buhtt sex?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
