i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
