My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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