Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
