There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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