How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
