1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
