That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
