He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
