So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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