if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
