loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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