it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
