Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
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I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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