oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
