Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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