Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
