Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
