My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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