that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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