U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
