she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
