I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
