i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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