i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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