Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
