New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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