so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
