Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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