Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize