i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
