At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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