Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(530): View more from California

you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.

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(956): View more from Texas

Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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(317): View more from Indiana

why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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(802): View more from Vermont

Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.

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