At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he thought i was a dude.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad