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• (817): View more from Texas

  is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool

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• (954): View more from Florida

  How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  I thought I was just out of shape.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?

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