Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.