girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
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I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?