Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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  (901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52
  Replies (11) Good night (2511) Bad night (1103)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.

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  (515): you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/cw9o
  Replies (12) Good night (6368) Bad night (763)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Found more tequila

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  (573): I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair (573): Found more tequila http://tfl.nu/cg6k
  Replies (9) Good night (4731) Bad night (635)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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  (269): I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. http://tfl.nu/m1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1283) Bad night (6647)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

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  (513): Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth? http://tfl.nu/ukqr
  Replies (22) Good night (5303) Bad night (1441)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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  (913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an
  Replies (21) Good night (1152) Bad night (8130)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

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  (251): As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/zyub
  Replies (33) Good night (10612) Bad night (1520)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  My lips are sealed. Both pairs.

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  (708): My lips are sealed. Both pairs. http://tfl.nu/26rg
  Replies (11) Good night (3330) Bad night (1118)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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  (419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq
  Replies (9) Good night (2859) Bad night (1499)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments

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  (314): I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments http://tfl.nu/h9el
  Replies (7) Good night (606) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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  (807): Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath http://tfl.nu/x0dh
  Replies (7) Good night (2730) Bad night (662)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all 3? possibly?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I'm up to the challenge.

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  (410): Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone. (732): all 3? possibly? (410): I think I'm up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/jtli
  Replies (4) Good night (1469) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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  (619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4
  Replies (4) Good night (1312) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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  (407): I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes http://tfl.nu/re4k
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (494)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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  (920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud
  Replies (7) Good night (873) Bad night (380)

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