Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
