Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
