i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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